《我，朱由检：大明第一败家子》正文 第八章 这谁啊，年纪轻轻不学好？(第1页/共3页)
“万岁爷，救命啊……”
眼瞅着连滚带爬扑过来的魏忠贤，草包皇帝颇为嫌弃的伸出一脚，踏在大宦官的肩膀上：“别，你一把鼻涕一把泪的，想弄脏朕的龙袍啊？”
魏忠贤一呆，赶紧赔罪：“奴婢罪该万死！”
“罢了，如果能死一万次，你估计就成绝世高手了，”朱由检叹一口气，环顾一眼埋头干饭的诸位大臣，“看看，大家都竖起耳朵听着呢，就盼望着要你这个大宦官倒灶呢吧？”
诸位大臣：“……”
魏忠贤：“……”
好吧，人家是皇帝，名为草包皇帝，可却是实权在握心狠手辣的老朱家的种，您老说什么都对！
“万岁爷，是福建那边传来消息，客氏巴巴与倭人、西班牙、葡萄牙海盗内外勾结，正在全力攻打台澎宝岛呢……”
魏忠贤小心翼翼的说道。
这种事，可大可小，全在草包皇帝的一念之间。
如果朱由检觉得小事一桩，他魏忠贤自然高枕无忧。可是，如果这位年轻的皇帝勃然大怒，自然会将目光缓缓投向他这个大太监——
‘这不是客氏巴巴的老公么……’
‘你老婆在福建沿海兴风作浪，是不是跟你这死太监有什么关联？’
于是，他魏忠贤就算是长了一身的嘴巴，估计也说不清楚了。
故而，他干脆先来一个‘恶人先跪倒’……
《论大宦官的日常自保基操666》罢了。
对此，朱由检心知肚明。
“忠贤呐，你这家伙不对劲吧？”草包皇帝端着一碗酒，慢慢饮了一小口，“区区一个客氏巴巴，就把你吓成这般模样了？”
魏忠贤只是连连磕头，汗出如浆，嘴唇哆嗦着不敢开口说话。
草包皇帝嫌弃的在其屁股上踢一脚，笑道：“起来吧，文武大臣都在这里，你这个样子成何体统！”
“来，给朕说说，你老婆最近又搞什么幺蛾子？”
魏忠贤赶紧从地上爬起来，凑到草包皇帝朱由检身边，一边捏腿，一边低声禀告：“万岁爷，客氏巴巴那条毒蛇，竟然与葡萄牙、西班牙海盗，以及倭寇勾结，组建了一支不下三百战舰的海军队伍，正在攻打台澎宝岛。”
“打下来没有？”朱由检没有微皱。
当初，一时失察，让客氏巴巴给逃脱，他现在想起来就窝火，
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