正文 第一卷 第74章 互相折磨(第2页/共3页)
比一天大起来，周围的忌惮便越发明显，那些嫔妃娘娘、大小皇子们便开始日日来找麻烦。后来......”
皇后虽已极尽隐忍，却依旧对后面的话说不下去了，她眼圈微微发红，沧桑的眸光越发悲痛。
姜姩靠近她的身子，抓起她攥紧的手掌。
“那事无你无关，也不是裴玄的错，错在那些坏人。”
“我是叫师傅过来的，我当时若不叫她过来她就不会死。”皇后的情绪像决堤的大坝，五年来的愧疚痛苦奔涌而来。
原来又是一个活在愧疚痛苦中的灵魂。
“你知道裴玄为何封我为后吗？”
姜姩隐隐能猜到一些，宫女出身，背后无权势支撑，不会打破朝堂势均力敌的局势，或许还有一些儿时一同长大的情谊，所以坤宁宫吃穿用度都是最好的。
“其一，是他当时无心情爱，也没想过将来会有爱人，所以不愿空着后位，引得朝堂大臣各方争斗，其二才是主要原因，他要放在我在宫中好让自己永远忘不掉她的死，仿佛我对他的怨恨，打骂，是他疗愈愧疚的方式，他永不放过自己，也不愿放我出宫，他想永远将自己囚禁在痛苦之中。”
姜姩听完瞳孔一缩，这样的疗愈方式，对别人来说是难以理解，但她亲眼见过裴玄发病时的样子，她信。
“你们两人为何要如此互相折磨？明明你们都没有做错任何事情。你愧疚是自己叫师傅过来，他愧疚母亲为他而死，你们真的想过她的感受吗？你是她最爱的徒儿，她怎么舍得令你一直因此痛苦，裴玄是她的儿子，你或许不曾理解母亲对孩子的感情，我曾以为自己有了身孕，那种感觉还并不深刻，但我依旧能想象到她当时的心情，看到自己的孩子安全的那一刻，她一定是心甘情愿的。”
姜姩说到这里，心也疼了起来，她想，裴玄的母亲一定是一位温暖至极的人，或许，她不死的话，裴玄也会是个温暖善良的人。
皇后眼神一怔，半晌没有说话，最后低头笑着说：“我好像知道裴玄为何会喜欢你了。”
她伸手摸了摸姜姩的头顶，果真像个长辈一般：“她若还活着，一定也会很喜欢你。”
说完，她看了看窗外，雨停了，天也亮了。
“你去找他吧。”
皇后从软榻上起来，朝殿外走去。
“皇后娘娘。”
姜姩站起身来，望着那个一身华服却无比空虚的背影。
“你放心，皇上不会有事的。”
姜姩知道�
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