正文 第43章 记不清陀叟哪一年(第2页/共3页)
拥吾背而眠，甚感安宁，今此温馨已成奢望。愿得夜夜与君相拥而眠，朝朝暮暮不相离。岁末分手之夜，雷鸣电闪，吾梦君拥吾背，暖意融融，醒则知已分，泣不可抑。彼时亦盼君在侧，君曾言雨夜雷鸣相拥而眠最适，故每闻雷声，必梦君至。自此，雷鸣之夜，再无君伴，心甚伤矣。”兰苼君慰之曰：“双儿勿虑过多。”
小双乃转身紧拥兰苼君，头埋其颈间，念及明晨君将早起离去，未知归期何日，愿时光永驻此刻。晨别之际，兰苼君吻之，小双欲挽其手，念及昨夜无奈，终未强求。
自此，兰苼君唯应小双项目之事，夜寝前，小双索吻求抱，兰苼君仅发三表情包，晚安二字亦吝于言。小双自慰曰：“能得表情包亦好，至少未嫌我烦，未弃我于不顾。”然兰苼君日渐疏远，小双心知缘尽，数日来，二人关系淡漠，甚于路人。兰苼君不复主动讯之，唯谈及项目方有片语。夜请晚安，亦仅表情包以对。小双感其冷漠，欲激之使妒，故言欲觅新宠，更请查为之介绍，查默然不应。
六一节，小双赴兼职，夜则于友圈晒与男子合照，附言：“汝将恒宠吾乎？”此举专为查某一人设，意在激之，使其误以为小双已有新伴。整日未与兰苼君语，夜寝前亦不复言，欲令其觉小双已移情。后觉此举欠妥，夜半删之，未知兰苼君是否得见，见之又是否介怀。
夜，小双噩梦缠身，六月二日晨五时半惊醒，泣甚哀。乃发微信于查，语音中唯泣声，并传泪眼朦胧之视频。意欲述梦，遂于备忘录草拟言辞，拟毕将复之。
其文曰：“余梦一极恐之事，宛如亲历。夜，合照之男子邀余共餐，其饮甚醉，余知其不欲驾车归。餐后寻之，惊现其于余室，醉卧吾床，衣已尽解。余惧其酒后无状，力拽之起，然彼固不起。急呼于尔，梦中犹惧尔不接（实亦常然），未料速应之，余惊且喜，泣告所遇，盼尔速至驱之。继而梦其被拖过马路，醉体绵软，横卧道间，忽有压路机将至，人急拖之未及，眼见其卷入轮下。车过，无血却见碎首，余不敢视，瞥见残骸，毛骨悚然。又见一老妪拾骨念咒，索逝者遗照。余惶恐引之归，取墙上像与之，心惧如杀人者。然力辩非吾所杀，实因揪彼出室而彼已醉甚。正此时，尔冲入，老妪指吾为凶，言吾害命且预言吾等无嗣。尔应之曰：‘吾已老而无子。’（或映射现实之语。）忽天鸣巨雷，闪电裂空，余惧而跪，向天叩首，泣诉无辜。尔亦跪扶，慰余曰：‘勿惧，吾在。’余言：‘此后不敢独寝，愿尔夜夜伴我。’（实乃心中所愿。）尔未答，余续述梦境，言至气促，忽觉梦中言声，方悟为梦，释然一笑。然随即悲从中来，醒觉身边无尔，梦中尚得相依，欲再入梦而不可得。启目视外，天已微明，望顶棚而思梦境，虽虚惊一场，心仍黯然。尤悲者，梦中尔接电话，至而慰我，伴我左右；醒时则反，尔不接电，不复消息，更不伴我。念及此，泪不自禁。愿复入梦，重温旧景。此情此景，犹忆三月春夜，雷鸣电闪，梦尔拥我而眠，醒则一切皆空，失落之感无以复加。因尔言爱雷雨之夜
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