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零点看书吧 > 玄幻小说 > 袖月段子集 > 正文 第一百五十四季

正文 第一百五十四季(第1页/共3页)

《毛刺儿》

今天做了一件事,人生破天荒的第一次,很惊奇,我从手指中,挑出一根刺儿!

你会说:“这有什么惊奇,谁还没挑过刺儿?”

“哎,你错了。”

“我们人人都可能挑过刺儿,但你可能绝没有挑过这样的刺儿,毛刺儿!”

对的,我从我的手指中,用针,挑出一根毛刺儿。

准确来说,它是一截长约1毫米的头发或毛发,我不知道它是谁的,哪来的,猫的、狗的或是我的,但我很奇怪:“它是怎么钻进我的肉里面的?”

“这可真是开了我的瞎眼了!”

“这真叫生动诠释,什么叫‘毛刺儿’。”

稀奇的我还把这事发到了朋友圈,回头遇见一个朋友,我又把这事说了一遍,并坦言:“人生第一遭,稀奇。”

结果没想到,朋友听了轻描淡写的来一句:“这有啥稀奇。”

“你那个是不是钢(肛)毛啊?”

听的我有点后悔,后悔不该和人分享这件事。

《疫情笑事》

新冠疫情期间,发生一件事,我一直耿耿于怀,忘不了,那就是,我被邻居骗了两次。

第一次,遇见邻居老李,老李骑着一辆电动车,载着一袋大米,看见我就乐呵呵的问:“你打第二针了吗?”

我听了说:“我天天不出门,第一针都没打,打什么第二针。”

老李听了,立马从车上拿下那袋大米,拎给我看:“那你赶紧去打呀,打疫苗给大米。”

我一听就两眼猫探灯——镭射绿光,闹饥荒的我很需要大米,我就赶紧问了老李地方,匆匆忙忙赶了过去。

打疫苗的时候,我的眼睛就一直没离开过桌上的大米。

打完,我按着胳膊问工作人员:“我是不是也能拿一袋大米?”

工作人员听了,看了我一眼,然后乐呵呵的笑:“小伙子,你年满60了吗?”

我听了诧异:“这个,还有年龄限制吗?”

工作人员听了笑说:“有啊,必须年满60才行。”说完,就那儿哈哈的乐。

我听了,有些不死心的说:“那我心理年龄过百了,能照顾一个吗?”

工作人员听了哈哈笑:“不行,心理年龄不行,我只看证,你身份证上的年龄不满60就不行。”

我听了说:“那好吧,第一次知道老年证这么重要。”

“回头,我也办一个。”

工作人员听了,捂着嘴,哈哈的乐。

第二次,又遇见邻居老李,这次他载了一桶豆油,一看见我,他 『加入书签,方便阅读』
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