正文 想明白了啊！第1页/共1页
想了两个多月，反反复复的写了不少的书开头，甚至搞了一个小号，写了一本新书。
这是一个不断否定，又不断打碎自我，然后咬着牙捡起来的过程。
没感觉到有什么成长，只有糟心。
终于在今天，恍然明白过来，这本书为什么会失败，我又缺了什么。
它本应该有一股勃发的少年意气，才能让这样一個有些老旧的题材，爆发出生机。
但是我搞砸了，我内心的陈腐与无力，一步步的败给了现实的财米油盐，越写越不对味。
我想要给的东西有很多，又时不时的摇摆不定，数据的支配产生的强烈不安，一直在作品中蔓延，以至于对内容的刻画，都呈现出强烈的毛坯感。
多次想要捡起来，继续写，咬牙写，怎么样也要给一个交代···但就是捡不起来。
哪怕是写了很多、很多的废稿，却始终没有勇气，继续写这本书。
我承认，是在害怕与恐惧。
我恐惧在大家面前，再进一步的敞开更加苍白、卑劣的内心。
甚至，犹豫着，要不要给这本书一个潦草的结尾。
很久以前，我记得和一些书友们约定过，当有朝一日，不为生活所累时，会回头将挖的坑都填起来。
但是现在，已经没有底气再这样许下承诺，因为我几乎已经看见，这一生都会为了几两碎银，而焦虑和踌躇，直到生命的尽头。
所以···我该怎么办！
我需要勇气，迈出下一步。
无论是坦然的面对失败，还是继续咬牙苦熬，亦或者彻底的放下过去，重头再来过。
三千文章皆废纸，岂不料，十年前的自嘲，继续的一语成谶。
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