正文 向秀 现实太残酷，越聪明的人越痛苦(第2页/共4页)
般的水塘里，向秀浑身一凛，在这句看似玩笑的话里嗅到了嵇康鲜血的味道。于是他行了一礼，回答说：“许由他们清高得迂腐，不能理解尧的良苦用心，没什么好羡慕的。”
良久，司马昭叹息，终于又一个桀骜的思想者消失了。他砍了一些人的头，更多的人如同向秀一样，在死亡的威胁和利益的引诱面前自己褪了色。作为当权者，他希望天下人遵守他的礼法和制度，可是，作为曾经的文学青年，他为之扼腕。
而向秀，被自己的回答震惊在当场。他终于抛弃了嵇康们的自由和高蹈，抛弃了他曾经认定的通向幸福的路。原来他之前的那么多文章根本经不起实践的检验。当然，他也拒不承认自己的理论错了，他在疑惑，人都有怕苦怕累怕死的本性，追求幸福就要抛弃生命吗？没有生命，幸福有意义吗？
这一年的初冬，借着回家的机会，向秀绕道去了嵇康的故居。坐在迅速破败犹如经年旧宅的嵇山别墅前时，向秀依然在思考着这个问题。如果人有灵魂，他倒是愿意坐在这里等待嵇康回来问一问他。只是，萧瑟的寒风中一片枯黄的竹叶拂过脸庞，落进了那条水渠里，提醒他，那已是他生命里翻过去的一页，再也没有办法回来。今夕似旧年，也只是相似而已。
很多年之后，官场沉浮多年的向秀终于得到了答案，并且被郭象偷去改头换面成了中国历史上最有分量的《庄子注》。而现在，不知道哪里传来的笛声呜咽，让向秀的心被回忆占满。不管愿不愿意，是他和过去说再见的时候了。在这个瞬间，哲学家的理性被诗人的感性所取代，他几乎没有思考，那些过往就流淌出笔尖，却又不能肆意宣泄，他想哭想破口大骂，却又惧怕四周无处不在的眼睛。于是这篇文章，只开了头便急急刹住，但是结局却早已落在题目里——《思旧赋》。
将命适于远京兮，遂旋反而北徂。济黄河以泛舟兮，经山阳之旧居。瞻旷野之萧条兮，息余驾乎城隅。践二子之遗迹兮，历穷巷之空庐。叹黍离之愍周兮，悲麦秀于殷墟。惟古昔以怀今兮，心徘徊以踌躇。栋宇存而弗毁兮，形神逝其焉如。昔李斯之受罪兮，叹黄犬而长吟。悼嵇生之永辞兮，顾日影而弹琴。托运遇于领会兮，寄余命于寸阴。听鸣笛之慷慨兮，妙声绝而复寻。停驾言其将迈兮，遂援翰而写心。
这首赋做完，他就要去洛阳了。在钟会、贾充那些手上沾了朋友鲜血的人身边赔笑周旋。直到今天，站在荒芜的嵇山别墅前，他才忽然明白了《诗经》里那个写了《黍离》的诗人，心中的去国怀乡。他们的理想国像是朝歌、周原，那些曾经风华绝代的都城，无可挽回地衰落了。可他，偏偏他这个本该消失的人却还站在这片废墟之上。
清冷的笛声是孤独时候最不忍聆听的，可是却每每在伤心的时候响起。就连王安石这样最坚强的人都没办法抗拒它带来的悲伤，八百年之后，他和向秀遥遥相对：
州桥蹋月想山椒，回首哀湍未
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