正文 第一章 视若无睹的穿越(第2页/共3页)
哈哈！我果然是个人才！不！我要正视自己，知人者智，自知者明，我是一个有自知之明的人。像孔明，像诸葛亮，像司马懿这样的人，经天纬地，统一六国，功盖千秋，这样的人才是人才。而我，遗憾地说，只是个天才。
只靠自己天生带来的才能混一辈子，从来学不到别人的优点与长处，穷困潦倒，不合时宜，不能扬显父母，光耀门楣，不能荫妻封子，左拥右抱，真的是上对不起苍茫宇宙，下对不起平安人寿。
想到这里，我悲从中来，用冷凉的双手抚慰了一下空虚寂寞的腹肌……好吧，是肚皮。我不能再蹉跎下去，不能整天幻想一夜暴富，天上掉馅饼，不能总想不劳而获，想中五百万起码也要先买张彩票吧。我要踏踏实实，一步一个脚印，用辛勤和汗水，用自己的双手……先快乐一会……不是！是用自己的双手，让自己快乐，让自己的爱人快乐！让自己爱的所有人都快乐！看着自己的手，唉呀，这指甲里怎么这么多灰，也长长了，拿个指甲刀剪一剪吧……
半天过后，想一想，我剪指甲时打开手机听了个相声，一高兴又不自觉地打开了电脑，玩了两把斗地主，再玩了玩传奇私服，又听了听歌，又找了找新出的老电影，看看了摸鱼的网站，替一堆月入百万的人操了操心，找一找有没有重金求子的真骗子，搜一搜有没有网红脸小姐姐泄露出来的“门”，又看到网上有人发帖话询问感情问题，下面回复清一色的劝离劝分，我从网上吸收到了满满的负能量，感觉整个人都活了过来，只想好好地在网络上畅游，渡过余生。真好，这就是拖延症吧？真香！
当我心满意足，浑身乏力，两腿发软，手边的卫生纸又瘦了一圈后，我心境平和，古井不波地看了看周围，我进入了一种神奇的精神境界，与古时的圣贤心意相通，这个时间，请叫我贤者。
圣人无欲无求，我现在对这世界也无欲无求，我关掉电脑，关掉电灯，陷入了黑暗中，我感觉自己忽然有了无穷的力量，不再惧怕这世上一切，哪怕鬼怪。这时就算是身边出现金发碧眼……不对，是长发蔽脸的女脸，我也会嗤之以鼻，大声喝斥：“看你什么形象，不要蔽脸，把脸露出来！还有！给老子滚一边去！刚才需要你的时候你干嘛去了？！”
而这时，我忽然感觉到了一阵恍惚，床上的被子好像动了一下！哼！臭不要脸的！老子知道你也是怨妇久旷、饥渴难耐了，不要急，我这就让你浪起来，吃我一招！
我拧身一跃，如飞猿越涧，半空中甩掉人字拖，一手已经探入被子缝隙，一拉一扯，弹指间将整齐如新妇又如豆腐西施的被子熟练地摊开，电光火石间，目光急扫，瞬间找到了被子招式的破绽，身形游龙般挤入被子与床之间的那一道几不可见的缝隙，在“嘤咛”一声中，我舒服地发出一声娇滴滴的喘息。忽然我眼前一黑，眼镜已经摘掉，一时不察，竟然被被子制住。这一招我识得，乃是御寒门的绝招“大被同眠”，这一招讲究千丝
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