正文 Chpater 44(下)(第1页/共4页)
才下了场夜雨,小径两旁弥漫着泥土的腥气,进到医院里又被消毒水味道取代。方唯长到二十多岁,幸运地从未参加过葬礼。亲近的家人朋友尚在人世,关系疏远的离世了,葬礼也不是非去不可,所以他没亲眼面见过死人。他甚至对医院都挺陌生。
素未谋面的庄越躺在那儿,脸色青白,和被单连为一体,远远望去令人生出点寒意。谭西原坐在旁边,眼睛没有聚焦,脸色看上去不比躺在那儿的弟弟好多少。
有一瞬间,方唯完全不敢出声——甚至脸呼吸都秉住了。谭西原过了半刻钟才发现有人,声音涩哑,像在粗糙的磨砂上滚动:“你怎么……”话到一半又反应过来,“谢衡让你来的?”
方唯拿不准谭西原这话里有没有连带责怪的意思,因此脚步顿住,轻轻应了一声:“我联系你好几次也没联系到,自己也想来看看。”
谭西原静了一下,才说:“抱歉,这几天没顾上”
“没事没事。”方唯听他道歉赶紧摆手。
该说抱歉的从来不是谭西原。
“你要坐会儿还是?喝水的话自己来,我现在可能没办法……”谭西原头一回有那么无助的神情。
“谭哥。”方唯走近他,轻轻叫了声。
明明自己无助的要命时谭西原给予了极大的安慰,可自己现在面对对方的无助,却连一句熨帖的话都不知如何开口。
病房里只有仪器滴滴的机械声响,方唯听了几秒,突然有些难以言喻的不舒服——这声音只表明庄越还活着,可活着是个广泛的概念,醒不过来也是活着——死亡同样是一个广泛的概念,有微小可能醒过来却也是一种死亡。现在,生与死的界限搅混在一起,变得模糊不清。
“谭哥,谢衡他……“方唯艰难开口,他知道自己这个开头糟糕透顶。
“庄越出生时,我十一岁。”谭西原却说起了别的。
这会是一个漫长倾诉的开端,方唯识趣的闭嘴安静下来。他冥冥中有预感——这些话,可能谭西原没对任何人讲过。
他接着说:“十一岁也不懂什么,但有一点很清晰——我怕他生下来就是个怪物。”
“毕竟一个吸毒的母亲生下来的孩子能有多正常?”
方唯一下子怔住。
谭西原没有在意他的反应,这是单方面的倾诉,庄越的意外令他再也没办法把这些晦暗不堪的过去深藏在心里腐烂。
他没有童年,父亲有些文化,学的生物制药,做人却没原则,是个遮遮藏藏的毒贩。可惜他在利益链的末端,事发后
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